A Comedy of Errors


Marriage, Parenthood / Monday, June 4th, 2018

On Friday, May 25th, my family moved to a super small city in another state. My husband took several days off following the move so we could take time to adjust as a family. We made a mental list of the things we wanted to do before he started working again—things that go along with moving to a new place: get new licenses, register cars and get plates, set up Internet, go to the post office, etc.

We arrived at our new house that night, and we all went straight to bed. We spent Saturday organizing, unpacking, and cleaning, and places were closed on Sunday and Monday because of Memorial Day.

We ended up staying up until midnight to get some painting done on Monday night, which is something we haven’t done in years. I felt pretty gross after painting, so I took a shower that night but didn’t wash my hair. I wanted to wait until the morning to wash it so I could straighten it since we were going to take license photos the next day. Seems like a frivolous detail, but stay with me.

THE Day Begins

Tuesday was errand day. We woke up with purpose, intending to head out early and run all the important errands. We made a plan to go to the post office first, since we would likely need mail at our new address to be able to get licenses. Then we’d register the cars, deposit the change we’d been carrying around from our “piggy bank,” and find a good source of Internet. Solid plan, right?

In the morning, Spencer fed breakfast to the girls and I washed my hair, sticking to my idea to make sure it looked decent for my license photo. Afterward, I went to grab my hair dryer and it was nowhere to be found. My husband and I both looked in every nook and cranny, including the cars.

Once we realized that we really couldn’t find it, I had to make a decision: put my hair up for the photo or find another way to get it straightened. I know that this shouldn’t have been a big deal, but I wanted to look nice for my photo. After all, our licenses stay with us for years, so why not make an effort?

I decided to try to towel dry and air dry my hair as best I could, then gently use the heat from my straightener to dry it the rest of the way. Because of the waviness of my hair and the lack of drying capabilities, it took me over an hour to straighten my shoulder-length hair. Over an HOUR.

By the time we were actually ready to leave, it was already time for the girls to eat again, and then they would normally go down for a nap. We decided we couldn’t wait any longer, so we fed them and put them in their carseats—we knew they would just sleep in the car, and that way we could keep moving.

When we finally left the house on Tuesday morning, it was about 11:30, which was several hours later than when we intended to leave. Not only that, but it was raining. I typically wouldn’t care about rain, but after the time-consuming effort I spent trying to straighten my hair, I was not amused.

Let the mission begin!

Finally, we headed out to go to the post office, but first we stopped by our mailbox to confirm that we still weren’t getting any mail. Spencer’s mom had done a mailbox hunt for us to figure out which one was ours, and she told us it was number twelve.

Spencer drove right up to the mailbox and I hopped out of the car to check it—in the rain, I might add—and the key wouldn’t work. I tried everything, but it just wouldn’t go. Spencer tried, and the key still wouldn’t work, so he started trying every mailbox. Turns out, our box is number fourteen. Not twelve! Fourteen. Also, there was no mail in it. We had a good laugh about that.

We drove to the post office and waited in line for the most efficient and pleasant worker I’ve ever seen in a USPS. We even came prepared with our mail key and lease agreement to prove that we lived in our house. When it was our turn, we were informed that we had no mail yet, and she handwrote a note to the mail courier to let him know that we lived there now. She handwrote it, y’all. That’s small town life for you! We didn’t even need the proof we brought, but A for effort, I guess!

Because we didn’t have mail, we knew we couldn’t go to the DMV, so we decided to go to the bank. The girls were passed out in their seats, so Spencer waited in the car while I ran in. All I had to deposit was a sandwich-sized bag of change and a few bills, so I knew it wouldn’t take long—or so I thought.

When I tried to deposit the money, I was informed that they hadn’t had a counting machine in about a year, so I would need to roll the change in order for them to take it. I was given a stack of change roller things (what are those even called?), and went back to the car so Spencer could help me.

We dumped the change on the center console in the car and began to roll it, but a good amount fell below the front seats. After more time passed than I care to admit, all the change was retrieved and rolled, and I head back in to deposit it.

Once the bank adventure ended, we convinced ourselves that we might be able to get away with using the lease agreement as our proof at the DMV, and we figured it wouldn’t hurt to at least try to cross another errand off our list. First, we ran home to get our VIN numbers and paperwork for the new car, and then we headed to the DMV.

We woke the girls up to get them in the stroller and made our way in, only to find out that they are closed one weekday and wouldn’t you know it, it’s Tuesday. Of all days, they are closed on the day we chose to be the most productive. Are all DMVs that way and we just didn’t know? Is there something special about Tuesdays that we are missing out on??

By this time, we were both pretty hungry for lunch, and we decided to go to a place that appeared to be Qdoba/Chipotle style. Once in the parking lot, we questioned our desire to eat there when we had food we could eat at home, so we decided to just go home instead.

We left the restaurant parking lot, turned left, and immediately PASSED THE DMV. Where we JUST WERE. Turns out there are two exits from the parking lot, and if we had just chosen the other exit, we literally could’ve driven across the street to the restaurant. I about died laughing, y’all.

Insert much needed lunch break here. Then, THE day resumes.

Next stop, Internet! A quick Google search told us that there isn’t an Xfinity where we live, so one of Spencer’s coworkers directed us to another source, and we headed there. They informed us that they use Fiber, and we would have at least a four-week wait before we could get it to our house because of the high demand.

Because of my job situation, that wasn’t going to work for us. We got on a list with them and headed to the next best place. We set everything up quickly, and the girls were well adored while we got it all figured out. Finally, success!!

All these misadventures had us pretty tired, but we wanted to run by Walmart, one of the only big stores in the city, to grab a new hair dryer and a few other things. We decided to divide and conquer so we could get home sooner.

On our way home we wanted to grab some food, and we ended up back at the Mexican restaurant we previously decided against for lunch. You know, the one across the street from the DMV? That one.

Homeward!

Once home, we all enjoyed our dinner together and we got the girls ready for bed. Everyone was tired and a little slaphappy, so we were all thankful for the calmness of the evening. Otis played outside while we ate, and when he came back in…he smelled like death. Literally. Like he rolled in something dead.

As soon as the girls were down, we had to wash him because, like many dog parents out there, we caved in and started letting him sleep on our bed. When? I honestly don’t know, but I’m pretty sure it was after our daughters were born. I can’t make sense of it, but I love the little fur ball. BUT when he smells like death, I do not want him on my bed. No, sir. 

Finally, everyone was fed, the dog was clean, the girls were in bed, and we decided to wind down with a quick Friends episode. Spencer set up our Internet like a champ, aaaaaaaaaand the sound cut in and out. We couldn’t believe it!

After blaming the Internet, then the TV, we finally realized that we were the problem. The audio cable was loose, so all we had to do was push it in all the way and the volume was fixed. Of course!

We made it through our episode and got ready for bed, feeling quite done with the day altogether. We talked through everything that happened, had a good laugh, and started drifting to sleep. Just when we were both about out…BEEEEEEP! The monitor decided that it was out of signal coverage, and wanted to let us know. I picked it up and it was absolutely fine. I am not kidding; there was literally nothing wrong with it. I set it down and we started drifting again, and BEEEEEEP!! Seriously. This repeated FOUR TIMES.

Then, sleep happened and all had a good night.

The end.

Positives from this day include:

  1. We got Internet!
  2. We cracked up about everything that was going wrong and didn’t let it get to us. I think our consistent laughter was a result of all the people praying for us, as well as the fact that we have the best 15-month-old twins on the planet. Seriously, they are amazing.
  3. Our new city is so small that everything is within 2-5 minutes of everything else, so we didn’t even use up that much gasoline!

Hello! I am a work-at-home mom to twin girls and a canine. I’m learning what life looks like when you surrender to God. Passionate about parenthood, marriage, and all things coffee!

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