As soon as I saw those two pink lines appear, I started imagining how my pregnancy would go. I thought about having a little boy, carrying with a perfect basketball belly, having a completely natural birth—maybe even at home—and exclusively breastfeeding. My husband and I got caught up in this picture-perfect scenario we’d been imagining, and our world was about to be rocked.
At twenty weeks pregnant, I walked hand-in-hand with my husband down the hospital hallway to the ultrasound room. We were giddy with excitement as the tech moved the wand around my belly, displaying those black and white images on the computer screen in front of us.
We didn’t talk or really pay attention because we didn’t know what we were looking at, so we chattered to ourselves while the tech looked around in my womb.
She seemed so focused for an abnormally long time before she finally announced, “Okay, so this one over here will be Baby A, and then this one…over here…will be Baby B.” We were shocked. Twins?!
It actually felt like time slowed down while the information made its way into our brains. Then, just as soon as it slowed down, it sped back up again and we both exclaimed, “Sorry, WHAT?!”
It took a few solid minutes for us to actually believe there were two babies in there, and then we got excited. We were laughing and crying and feeling scared and excited all at the same time. My husband and I looked at each other with grins on our teary faces and said, “Okay, here we go!”
Suddenly we were caught back up in our fantasy, and we started wondering if we would have two boys or one boy and one girl. We told her we definitely wanted to know the genders. The tech told us they were in separate sacs and they had their own placentas, so they wouldn’t be identical (that turned out not to be true).
We began discussing how much more stuff we would need with twins. Two carseats, more diapers and wipes, more clothes. We didn’t know any better, so we were imagining we would need two of everything, but we later came to find that wasn’t true at all.
We’d just moved out of a one-bedroom apartment into a three-bedroom house, and we started feeling even more thankful than we already were. We knew we could handle twins, and we were pumped!
For a while the tech just took measurements and photos, and then came the news that Baby A was definitely a girl. Upon hearing this I nodded slowly, and held out hope that the other was a boy. One boy and one girl coming from a single pregnancy? I could handle that.
More time went by before the tech moved onto Baby B, and we got distracted again. We started thinking of Otis, our little fur baby at home, and how he would get two tiny humans to love. We hoped he wouldn’t be overwhelmed. During this discussion, the tech interjected, “It looks like Otis will have two little girls who will just love him!”
Time slowed down again. Two girls. Two girls. I started to feel nauseous and sweaty. At first I thought my brain just wasn’t processing the information well, but it turns out it’s actually normal to begin feeling that way when you lay on your back for too long when you are pregnant. I didn’t want to interrupt the ultrasound, but I finally had to say something and sit up for a few minutes.
While I drank cold water and waited to feel normal again, my brain was buzzing with images of life with two daughters. It wasn’t what I’d been picturing up to that point, so I really didn’t know what to think.
I was pretty quiet for the rest of the ultrasound. We’d both driven to the hospital straight from work, so my husband and I were in separate cars. We went different ways home because I had to make a work-related stop, and I cried the whole time.
I wasn’t angry or sad, really. Just confused. Of course, that’s what happens when you imagine a whole plan for yourself without praying about it first. I knew this, and I’d done it anyway.
You know that popularly-quoted verse from Jeremiah?
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. -Jeremiah 29:11 ESV
I don’t think I ever trusted this verse as much as I did when we found out about our twin girls. I knew God’s plans always have a purpose, and I knew that He knew we’d imagined having a boy. So that could only mean that He meant for us to have two daughters first, and that was enough for us.
Now, just a short time after their first birthday, we can already see His plan unfolding. We can see the benefits of having two babies in our home at the same time. We can recognize how we might parent differently if we had boys or if we’d only had one baby at a time, but that is a post for another day.
It was a huge surprise to find out we were having twins, but God knows what you need more than you do. Now, we can’t imagine life any other way!
Hello! I am a work-at-home mom to twin girls and a canine. I’m learning what life looks like when you surrender to God. Passionate about parenthood, marriage, and all things coffee!